David Bowie, thank you! As I was writing about rock stars with ambiguous sexuality, I kept thinking of "smaller" names or less mainstream artists, but he's a great example.

I do think, as you point out, that the m/m category forces the binary gender roles that aren't realistic. Of course, there are a fair number of m/m books that aren't category-ish that do the same thing. I wish more readers of m/m and authors would talk about that, but it seems like the elephant in the room. Or maybe they are talking about it but I'm not in on the conversation.